Thinking about Bean

I've been overly analytical my entire life. I've always wanted to know why, to have it all figured out, have all the answers, ALWAYS! When I was a baby my mom said if looks could kill everyone would have been dead (not because I was ugly). I guess I gave people the meanest looks you'd ever see as an infant. I'm pretty sure I was just thinking really contemplatively all the time. When I was in middle school I was accused of glaring evilly at people I didn't even know existed. Again, I'm pretty sure I was in deep thought and it was misinterpreted.

When I was a kid I had a neighbor named Rich. I didn't know that Rich was a name I only knew what it meant and I decided that he must be called Rich because he must be rich. He worked on cars and spent time in his garage religiously. There was a big pit in the center of his garage which he always kept covered up but somehow we still knew it was a pit and my brothers and I decided that he must keep all of his gold and treasure in that pit. For years I was certain that Rich had an entire pit filled with gold in his garage... I mean why else would they call him Rich?

When I found out Richard was a name and Rich was short for it the gold dissolved in an instant.

I also spent years trying to figure out why we were called Human Beans. I cannot even tell you how much pondering went into this one question. I remember asking my mom about it but she was no help at all. She just said because that's what we are. I tried to help her understand that we were nothing like beans so why would they call us that... but I'm pretty sure she thought I was saying Being just like I thought she was saying Bean. I bet several of my evil glares had some hard core bean pondering behind them.

The first time I read the words "Human Being" I think I was in school and it was like an epiphany. The room filled with light and the biggest "OHHHHhhh" of my lifetime was exhaled. "We aren't beans after all."

I've definitely come a long way. I no longer need to know why that girl from the song (Manic Monday) wishes  for a man named Sunday. (Just another Man named Monday... I wish is was Sunday). I know I'm not a bean. Rich is a name. Oh my oh my the list goes on. But here's the epiphany I just had yesterday: All the things I've figured out so far, all the vast knowledge that I have, all the wisdom that follows me, all of it has a little bean in it somewhere compared to the knowledge of God. I mean no matter how much time and energy I put into figuring it all out I'll never be there.

I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes I just need to leave the big thinking to the big guy. Sometimes I just need to let it go (because I will NEVER know it all, have all the answers, and figure it all out). Sometimes I just need to be (bean or not).

Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad. Prov. 12:25