Dilemma

I really would like this blog to be more uplifting than last year. I also would really like to continue writing regularly. Dilemma.

I've been walking around the past several days in a cloud of gloom. It's not a debilitating cloud but it is yucky. I spent my entire vacation with the flu and it was awful. Returning to work (which sometimes feels like throwing my life into the wind and watching it vanish) has been really depressing. I accomplished nothing AND I wasn't able to enjoy my time off. Additionally we noticed that Bozzy (our dog, our boy, our baby) has gum disease and he just had surgery (which was super expensive) but for the past while all I've been able to think about is how much pain he might be in, what might happen to him, what we needed to do about it. So there's my sob story. Great, positive way to start the year.

The reality is that I've been reminding myself quite emphatically "LIVE! Seize the moment, enjoy now!" But myself has been overcome by gloomy emotions and the now has been trapped in the systematic which oddly enough from my viewpoint resembles what life must have looked life for the tin man. Why must emotion continually rule my life?

Pep talk time: I'm not longer sick. Bozzy is recovering from surgery and has a clean, healing mouth. I can't lament the loss of my vacation... it is in the past. Work is helping me to get out of debt; it provides me with food and a pretty high quality life. I can... I must... I am determined to find delight in all the little things.