Breath of Fresh Summery Air

Been listening to worship music pretty non-stop for the past two days. WOwwy I was empty. I really feel like I've been filled back up. Also, had GREAT prayer time this morning. Hate to admit it but I don't remember the last time that happened. 

Why, why, why, why do I neglect spiritual food when it's so absolutely essential to LIFE!

SING to Him, sing psalms to Him; Talk of all His wondrous works! GLORY in His holy name; Let the hearts of those REJOICE who seek the LORD! SEEK the LORD and His strength; Seek His face evermore! REMEMBER His marvelous works which He has done, His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth... Ps. 105:2-5

Pretty good advice if you ask me...

May 21, 2011

I've a lot to say on this subject and I've not organized my thoughts... here goes:

I prayed for those people who believed so adamantly that the world would end that day. They sold their belongings and spent their life savings on ad campaigns to get the word out. They spent months traveling the world to warn of it's end and destruction. They canceled their life insurance policies, gave away their pets (to the non-believers). These people were hard core. Like my sister said, anytime someone declares a date that the world will end it's pretty much a given that it's NOT going to end that day. That one specific day is like a get out of jail free card... go ahead, live it up, Jesus is not gonna come back that day and He didn't. It's sad, those people believed with everything they had. Everyone's made fun of them but could you even begin to imagine the heartbreak of being that wrong!?!?

This should probably be a second blog but I'll be brief. I'm sitting here asking God, how could all those people who were apparently hoping on You be so misled? How did that happen; how does that happen? I KNOW that God is real. I'm SURE that Jesus is coming but so were they... So, quick answer: the devil, the deceiver, the one who lies as an occupation, if he's able to pull off a stunt like this, he's able to make Jesus' return look like a joke. And well, he did it. That's the gist of it. The devil is a jerk. (what lies does he have you believing???)

Now down to my point. Those people were wrong. We all knew they were. They didn't know but we did. Everything they were believing was contrary to scripture despite what that crazy man was telling them. But the question I keep asking myself despite their foolishness and insanity is, "am I as faithful, as devoted, as passionate, as crazy for God, for Jesus, for righteousness as they were?" I'm pretty sure those fools have one up on me. I'm not living like today's my last. I'm not really telling anyone about Christ or God... not really. I try and be good. I try and live according to scripture (sort of in my own twisted way... after all scripture says to sell all you have go into the highways and the hedges and compel them to come; I'm not doing that... I sort of left that up to the crazy people now didn't I).

I'd just like to say unless you're sharing Christ and the living word, the living water with the world, the whole world and devoting everything you have to HIS cause then please don't make fun of the people who (quite foolishly) tried. Pray for them... I can't even imagine what it was like for them when He didn't return. BUT He is returning... probably not on October 21st though... oops, he did it again.

Wow, we've a long way to go. Thank God for Jesus, for redemption, for LIFE!

Welcome to Friday

I arrived at work 30 minutes early today. (I'm usually 30 minutes late (at least 15 anyway)) I was so proud of myself until I realized I had left something essential for one of my projects at home. "Yay, I got to work 30 minutes early and now I get to drive 40 minutes home and back!" Half way home I realized that I also left my handheld computer at the house which is crazy because it's impossible for me to work without it. Literally impossible I have to clock in, record all of my work, and clock out with the thing. So I get home and realize I also left my name tag, my water bottle, another part of my uniform; oh how the list goes on. Then I realized that I never sent my work in from last night. So here I sit at home, instead of at work 30 minutes early, typing a pleasant Friday morning blog while my work from yesterday syncs with the office. Wow, what a start to a holiday weekend. Today instead of remembering to live I think I just need to remember the tiny little essentials.

But you know what, I don't even care and I'm just gonna keep meditating on whatever is lovely!!! That's my story.

Happy Friday to you folks!!!

It's Really not so bad

I drove past my old house yesterday. Actually the pit of house that smelled horrendous, had caving in ceilings, awful matted down, stained, ruined carpet and NEVER felt like home to me is gone. The people who bought the foreclosed on horrible wreck tore it down and created the horse pasture and stables that my mom always dreamed of having when she bought that property. I hated living there. I hated almost every moment of that time period of my life. High school was horrible for me. Home life was pretty unbearable. I spent a good 10 years of my life feeling homeless, feeling like I didn't belong anywhere and just dreaming (quite blindly) of a day when I would have a home.

Funny thing though I drove past the old property and the bad parts that seemed to consume me during that time of my life were't the memories that surfaced. Instead I looked at the horses grazing where our house used to be and I remembered the glorious smell of fresh cut grass, the hot dry dust that would cling to my skin as I'd sit on the tractor mowing for hours on our 2 acres of land; the feeling of accomplishment and pride and pure joy that I always received from a job well done after mowing our emense lawn (consisting of basically all weeds). I remembered tackling the wild black berry briers in the back field where I'd escape life and sing and pray and be alone in an almost secret garden of my very own. That feild is one of the only places I found sanctuary during that time. As I drove past the old property I remembered everything good that happened there. The bad things really didn't jump out to haunt me.

I passed by the old place with a small smile and continued on to my destination. I drove the same route I'd taken to school every single day for 4 years. I HATED school, despised every moment of it, and skipped alot of it. I drove that path over and over and over again as if I were stuck in a never ending prison. Life during high school seemed like it would never go anywhere. I was so trapped and miserable. I never imagined that there would actually be a day when I'd no longer have to drive that God forsaken path again. Well, I've avoided that path for almost 13 years. I broke free from it's clutches. It has no power over me. Funny thing though, I drove it yesterday and yes, I really could only remember the good moments. Moments after school had let out, moments with the windows down, the music blaring and really good friends riding along the old country roads with me. I remembered the beauty of those untamed pathways, headlights shining on the long uncut vegetation reaching out over the edges of the gravel shoulder, bugs by the thousands sparkling in the gleaming headlight beams on dark nights, and the stars, the magnificent blanket of never ending stars that you really only saw when you were out there in the country away from the city lights. There were good times there along that path I used to despise so adamantly.

I have to giggle a tiny bit now. I know that I was miserable for years while living in that prison. But I returned for a brief moment and the only memories that really stood out were the beautiful ones. I guess what I realized during that little trip down memory lane is that no matter how awful things may seem there really is beauty in the ashes. It's really not so bad. Life is actually pretty great when you stop and look at the millions of magnificent tiny little things that it has to offer.

Day 329

Not to move forward, to stay where we are, to regress, in other words to rely on what we have, is very tempting, for what we have, we know; we can hold onto it, feel secure in it. We fear, and consequently avoid, taking a step into the unknown, the uncertain; for, indeed, while the step may not appear risky to us after we have taken it, before we take that step the new aspects beyond it appear very risky, and hence frightening. Only the old, the tried, is safe; or so it seems. Every new step contains the danger of failure, and that is one of the reasons people are so afraid of freedom. -- Erich Fromm